Now i'm really getting sick. Constant coughs and colds. Not from natural causes, but from trying to aid people, who wish to push others away. Apparently to knowledge of others, i don't fit their "standard" to helping. The funny thing is, they ask for other peoples help and they say the same thing, "don't worry about it, just let it go man" or whatever, and the reason i say that i know better, is because, "i've experienced it" and i don't want the other person to go through it, thus why i compare myself in the situations. But unfortunately, people mis-interpret my words which i'm literally getting so pissed off. From now on, you're on your own, stop getting advice from others, and harden the fuck up now, honestly, what are the other people going to do for you? Just tell you it's going to be ok? FUCK NO! All they can do is support you, as what i was offering as well. Criteria or whatever, it doesn't mean shit on helping. It's not about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and get back up from it.

If you are a true friend- and i will say this ONCE MORE ONLY- Grow up. "not everything is about you" as people tell me. i'll say it back, loudly and proudly.

Well back months ago, i spoke about how people were talking behind my back and that i don't have a single friend around to talk to and can't trust. It's felt that way for quite a while, but now after dropping all of those defences, i feel i've just fell into an endless pit where people just have no courtesy to consider me as a friend.

I've now only have a few people close to me that i trust but i don't want them to leave me as others have due to such stupidity of the past. However, people come and go and you can't satisfy everyone. I just want to have the ability for people to look up to me and depend on me for help. Not just be a bench warmer.

I'm glad i have my cassie and she means more to me than anything at the moment, because she knows so well of the nature of some people. That and the fact i love her , haha. So all i'm going to say is, if you're a true friend, you wouldn't talk about me behind my back, and you'd face your opinion towards me, otherwise i don't know you at all. EVER.

Gees, i really do miss my tafe class for the Gaming course, i mean seriously, if only some certain events didn't hold me back, i would've done really well...I miss it heaps because of how well Graphics was. Not only that, the program side of it was interesting, but at the same time really difficult especially C++. Kind of Disappointed in myself that i wasn't able to reach that potential for the course. I mean one person did give me a hard time instead of being a supportive member. but the past is the past and it cannot be changed. Anyways, i just miss the whole tafe classes because it was way simpler than the usual day-to-day stuff. so yar. Might be thinking of going to Uni to do the computer graphics side of things though, i've been meaning to get back into it. lol.

HAHA! perfect opportunity . Great view of the sky and great timing for the count to begin . Dust particles here we come XD